Dreams Made Real (Teddy) - Lad Nah's Clockwork Death House

Teddy nodded.
"My brain would just collapse on itself anyways" she laughed.

Elder Posts : 604 Join date : 2013-03-29

"Nah, these things take time. Malkaviens try to force enlightenment on others, but that's a poor method. It's too much, too fast and just like the Malkaviens, it breaks the mind."

"Good things shouldn't be rushed and something like a broader understanding of the world takes centuries. Patience is hard though!" She laughed.

"I'm so impatient! It's hard to call myself an elder sometimes. I want to know and I want to know now!"

"In a way, that's a good thing though. Means you haven't grown as stale and stagnant as some Elders seem to do once the years starts weighing on them" she smiled. "Though, then again.. I haven't even seen a century so most consider me a kid still. So heh, what do I know"

Elder Posts : 604 Join date : 2013-03-29

"I think it was because I was embraced so young. My sire wanted to preserve the curiosity and energy of a child forever. He felt that those qualities would be I have the stamina for forever."

"My sire is very very old. He was tired of losing childer."

"How do you even decide when and who to Embrace? It's..." well, she'd tried it once and it had hardly been planned. And it had failed, making the blonde certain that she would never try it again. "Heh, I dunno..." she rubbed the back of her neck. "I wonder how it must feel to consider it and actually choose to accept the Embrace. Like.. like Medwyn did"

Elder Posts : 604 Join date : 2013-03-29

"I embraced out of need. It was hardly fair to my childe, but he took to it beautifully. Being a ghoul previously helps matters considerably. They have time to get used to things. Time to be around you. And every ghoul has thought about being embraced."

"Don't know how that feels" to be a ghoul, to be around and understand things before hand. "But yeah, I see how it would make it easier to deal wit the transition if you have some idea of what to expect" although she knew, even if you had been around for a long time? It was still different than what one might think. Seeing Medwyn's reaction after having been turned made her realize that.

Elder Posts : 604 Join date : 2013-03-29

"Yes, it does. And giving the Childe a choice as well. No one likes to feel helpless. No one likes to feel like their life is out of their control. Even at my most inhumane, I always remembered that."

Inhumane... even the Caitiff had been so low that she could've easily been called inhumane.

She nodded.
"What is it like to be someone's Sire?" a silly question probably but one she'd never find the answer to herself.

Elder Posts : 604 Join date : 2013-03-29

"Like I imagine having a baby would be like. You worry about them constantly. Youa re anxious that they grow up right. You want to show them everything."

"That was robbed from me though. My Childe was embraced and then I didn't see him for 50 years. Vitreous, Nola and Hera had to guide him. Between them, they held my city for me while I boiled in the river of silver in the werewolve's version of hell."

She couldn't really help but frown at that.
"Uhm do I even wanna know how that's possible or what that really is?" because let's face it, she had no real clue about that sort of things even though she had a half decent grasp on the occult.

Elder Posts : 604 Join date : 2013-03-29

"It's simple really. One of my old, long dead allies had a wolf ghoul who turned out to be a Garou. His ghouling brought him long life but twisted him. Garou are spiritial beings and the corruption of kindred blood is anathema to them. He should have been released and if I understood their kind better back then, I would have freed him myself, but I was new to shifters."

"He came to us some years later, twisted and inverted. A corrupted werewolf. Urgh... you should have seen his aura. It was horrifying."

"He wanted salvation. He wanted to be cleansed and he asked me and Warden to help him journy to his hell, where he could repent and be reborn. I was a master of traveling the umbra even then, so I guided everyone to the dark reaches of the spirit umbra."

"When I was there, I also jumped in the river and burned all the taint of being a kindred from myself. Nothing is as painful. 50 years of burning. The results were absolutely amazing but also shortlived I'm afraid."

She listened somewhat wide eyed as the Malkavian told her story.
"I didn't know such a thing was possible at all..." to burn ones taint away in a hell of liquid silver, even if, for their kind, the results were short lived as she'd said. "Did he survive? Was he able to return? How.... how did it affect you?" she honestly needed to ask.

Elder Posts : 604 Join date : 2013-03-29

"He has not returned yet. It's been... 6 centuries. Not uncommon from my understanding. He has to forgive himself and sometimes that's just too hard."

"I only survived because I had previously infected myself with Wilde taint. It made me... human, but more. I imagine it is what Golconda would be like. I could walk in the sun. I didn't have to eat food or drink blood or even sleep if I didn't want to, but I could. I could do any of those things. My hair started growing, I got a little older. But I still had all my powers though... they worked strangely. They were living magics, not undead ones."

"It only lasted a year. My spiritial enlightenment wasn't enough to maintain it I suppose."

She had gotten to be human again... if only for a little while.
"That's amazing..." the Caitiff said in quiet awe.

Elder Posts : 604 Join date : 2013-03-29

"Yes, a miricle, but not one I encourage anyone to repeat. I only tell people to give them hope. There is something more out there and you can achieve whatever it is that you want."

"Fifty years in agony... it would be worth a year in the sun if I didn't have something more precious in my life than my own existence" she smiled softly. As it were though, she had something far more important to her than herself in her life. So no, of course she wouldn't try something like that.

Elder Posts : 604 Join date : 2013-03-29

"The point is, we're more mutible than anyone realizes. We can change." Lad Nah said.

"I did it so my blood could sustain my ghouls without bonding them, without making them grow stale and static. But actually, I couldn't form bonds anymore. So I didn't accomplish my goal." She sighed.

"But I found other things in the umbra that allowed that choices for my ghouls, but they all decided to be reghouled to me instead and I came to accept that choice. So in the end we went right back to how things were."

"It wasn't pointless though. What a journy that was for me."

"Even if the goal isn't necessarily achieved, the journey does teach a lot" Teddy agreed. "I'm sorry it didn't work though. I must admit that had it been possible to do that to my blood, to have it be able to sustain someone without bonding them, I wouldn't have hesitated for a second" the blonde smiled.

Elder Posts : 604 Join date : 2013-03-29

"I discovered that I had already accomplished that to an extent and my own self loathing of what I thought of as cursed blood made me blind to it. I pushed away my lover who I wanted so desperately to be free, free of me and free of my cursed nature. How ridiculous that seems now." She laughed.

"It was foolish, done out of love, but foolish. I realized that the greatest bond you could have with someone is true, pure love. That is the greatest loyalty. The blood bond is second to that and cannot corrupt it if that true love exists before."

"It all boils down to: Don't be an asshole." Then she cracked up laughing. "What a lesson! But honestly, realizing that treating others well actually does mean something so profound is a lesson."

"Heh, yeah... It is a lesson even if it almost sounds silly when summed up like that" though it was obvious she agreed. "I was always worried about it to be honest, how a bond could affect me? But then, I dunno... I don't feel any differently without the bond I do have now. I felt the same before, it's only intensified by the blood. At least that's how it feels"

Elder Posts : 604 Join date : 2013-03-29

"Well the bound's effect is profound, just, yes, as long as love is there it will not twist." Lad Nah agreed.

"I do not like having any bonds, personally. But then again I'm a little irrational about maintaining my freedom."

"Freedom's important. My though.. in a way is, to me, freedom" though it was hard to explain how there was freedom in it.

Elder Posts : 604 Join date : 2013-03-29

"And that works for you. I don't judge you for it." She said with a smile.

"Thanks" she smiled, falling silent for a few before speaking again. "Mm, so whenever you feel like your next lession, just call me alright? Or if you just want company, you can call me then too"

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