Up On the Rooftop (Teddy, open) - Sunflower Beach

"I found a combination of food and fertilizer that will brighten the colors," she grinned proudly.

"You did? That's really cool actually" the blonde sounded impressed. "How'd you figure something like that out?" she had to admit to being a complete amateur when it came to gardening beyond putting in care and time because she liked it.

"Well," she smiled. "Brighter at night. And only white flowers... But, tonic water. You give them tonic water. And they glow under black light."

Teddy grinned approvingly as she watered the many different roses and daffodils and sunflower that inhabited the garden.
"That's really cool actually" she nodded.

"Thank goodness for chemistry, or else there wouldn't be anything cool for me to do," she winked.

"Pft, you're one of the most fascinating people I know. And you can do so much more than you give yourself credit for" she smiled, giving her a light hip bump.

"For a mortal?" She chuckled. "I'd be the most interesting mortal you know. Not kindred, though. Not even close."

"That's bull and you know it. You're just not bitchy enough to be in the spotlight as much as you deserve" simple fact.

"What is it I deserve, though? I'm not without sin. I've done things, witnessed things... I just can't bring myself to kill, I can't bring myself to turn the other way. It's starting to look like... maybe it's time to pack up again. I've done too much damage here and not nearly enough damage control, even though I've tried. I feel like I've... like I've sentenced people to their death. That's what it feels like."

"What? No" she dropped the garden hose and wrapped her arms around Cassiel. "You've done no such thing. What on Earth would make you say that? No on'es without sin, but you've always been kind and helpful, and you've been there for people and just your friends but anyone who've needed it. You've done nothing wrong to warrant you feeling like this... warrant you leaving..."
She pulled back slightly, put kept her arms around the other woman.
"You're a much better person than I am, Cassie... I've killed you know..?" Teddy said softly. "In cold blood.. hunted them down and killed them for revenge that did nothing to soothe the pain I was feeling... So you're better, so much better, because you'd never to something like that. You don't get to judge yourself to harshly..."

"And if Alex dies now that he's back? We made a promise, we promised we weren't seek retribution. What was done was done, that it was just time to move forward and live they way we're meant to. Trying to better than we are, to do something useful and helpful. He wouldn't leave, he wouldn't stay gone. I totally expected him to say he wasn't coming back, I was prepared for it. I knew that he needed to do what needed to be done to stay safe and alive. I even had Jamie write him a letter of introduction so he could live in another domain. But he came back because of me. Because he knew I had to come back. What if he dies now? What if because I got him out of the Carnival, the people that put him there decide... that it's just time to kill him? I don't know how to protect him, Teddy."

"Do you know who did it? Do you know who put him there? If you do, tell me and I'll help you protect him... You're family to me Cassie, I'll do anything I can to help you and him because you love him" the Caitiff said softly. "Talk to me? Trust me..."

"It's not going to stop it from happening. I don't even think Jamie can stop it. I should just leave it alone. Except that it doesn't take a genius to figure out. Same person that put Grant there. Our harpy, who's name I won't say. It's not a breach of any Traditions," she shook her head. "Just... Keep it to yourself. There's nothing that can be done."

She paled a little.
"I think she's the one who torpored me.." the blonde said weakly. "She can't be allowed to keep doing this... Traditions or no..." how could one person be allowed to terrorize others like that? "She's got Griselda's protection but this can't be allowed to keep going..."

"Yes, she can. And she will. That's why... I think in a month or so, it's time for me to go. I can't stop it. Alex fucked things up with Griselda, so badly. In fact, I think she knew all along where he was," she frowned. "I'm not angry, I just see where I fit now. All this pandering, being told I belong here. I love you and Jamie and Grace and Alex, I do. But I can't hide away. I can't live in fear for the rest of my life, wondering when it is someone's gonna come for me. For him. There's nothing to be done. No retribution, because if we do, we're no better. And I am better."

She struggled, struggled to find the words. Struggled to remain composed and calm. And she failed as the tears started, slowly...
She was still so scared, still looking over her shoulder. And her felt the same. But Teddy couldn't leave. Because of that she'd loose Cassiel.

"I-I..." her voice trembled. "I..." felt a bit like she was drowning. "It's not fair..." it wasn't fair!

"It's not. But I learned a long time ago things weren't fair. I haven't been fair to people, either. Look at all the mistakes I made here. But I tried so hard to apologize for them. To be better. That's all anyone can do. But I'm not ready to be dead. And I'm not ready to be responsible for someone else's death. I don't wish what happened to Alex to happen to anyone else. So it's a blessing the Carnival's gone. But just because it's gone and he's back doesn't mean it's over. I've probably pissed off a good many people by doing what I did." She pulled Teddy close to her, putting her head against her chest. "I just don't know what to do anymore. I can't even the score. I can't stoop to that level. He wasn't..." Her voice began to tremble. "He wasn't supposed to come back. I wanted him to be selfish and flee. And he won't. So I've doomed him. I know I have."

The blonde's arms trembled as they wrapped around her friend, clinging to her with a low sob.
"She's evil... and because she's bff's with Griselda she gets to get away with anything... fuck that. Fuck that!" her voice broke a little. "This can't keep happening... she doesn't get to terrorize my friends, my family..." she shook her head weakly but while her voice trembled there was still determination to it. "You don't have to stoop to her level..." Cassiel wouldn't have to anyways.

"Don't... Don't you do anything. Listen to me. Don't you dare. Let it go."

"So she can hurt you more? So she can hurt Alex? Me? Whoever she damn well please because it suits her fancy?" she shook her head. "That's not right..."

"And then when does the cycle end, Teddy? You go after her, what if you actually do something and win? Who comes after you? And then who goes after them? And so on, and so on. And while that's happening, what will the Sabbat do? Or any other enemies our kind has? Do you want to be that? Sometimes it's the stronger person that let's the issue go. It takes a stronger person to just... let it be and leave."

"You shouldn't have to be the one to leave your friends and family though... That bitch can leave. She can take her blackened little heart and go terrorize someone else" somewhere else. The blonde lifted a hand to brush it across her cheek, smearing the tears a little. "I love you Cassie... I can't stand seeing you hurt like this..."

"But they need her. They don't need me. She has what this city needs. She does, I would never deny that. The political ties, the prowess. That alone is what this city needs. Someone who can bring with them throngs of followers, people who will listen. I don't have that. And it's not a competition. I don't wish for people to cow-tow to me. I was supposed to be a deputy sheriff, right? Protect people in this city. I can't do that."

"But the Domain doesn't need evil... it doesn't need the terror having to look over your shoulder afraid you'll get torpored or worse if you step on her toes... It needs people who genuinely care, people like you..." she said softly. "You're so much better than me... so much better than this place deserves, but it needs you. I needs light in the darkness and you're that, you're light. She's just more darkness with the right connections to make her dangerous..."

"Being kindred is what makes everyone dangerous. And I can't compare to her. I'm done trying. They want to the golden childe, and they got it in her. I'm just a fuck up."