Swimming with the Blonde (Teddy) - Bathtub Beach

She snorted.

"No, in the great game of politics, you're not worth as much as some others. In reality, you're worth much more than most."

"Thanks but, we both know that's not entirely true" Teddy smiled at her.

She shook her head.

"It is true. You just need the confidence to see it for yourself."

"I don't mind you know? You kinda get used to it. I just... I only need Medwyn to think I'm worth it..." Teddy said with a light chew on her lip, brushing her fingers through the water again poking them up above the surface. "I want to be worth it to him..." she paused for a moment. "God, Griselda..." she already knew so what did it matter if she said it out loud? Her arms wrapping around her own midsection. "I miss him so much it physically hurts... I hate not being able to do anything for him.."

She nodded in sympathy, reaching out to rest her hand against the blonde's shoulder.

"I know. I do. But trust me, it gets better. And it's not like he's gone forever. Just until he gets his head on straight. Any day now."

"Any day?" she actually chuckled, though it sounded pained. "It could be days, it could be months, it could be..." Teddy shook her head. "I'd wait a century to see him smile again... I'd wait a millennium to have him hold me again. But it still hurts. And I'm still useless to him... I haven't slept in our bedroom since he left..." and it already felt like an eternity.

"Can I do anything at all...?"

She tilted her head.

"I don't have anything to do with helping Medwyn. Have you asked Jamie? Or Ethan?"

Well let's see. She'd told her about the situation with Jamie. And Ethan...
"I think the Seneschal hates me.." she said quietly. She couldn't blame him though. It was just a simple fact. "I let Medwyn get hurt.... I argued with Ethan over politics... he's not said a word to me since, and I never pursued the offer of training since..."

She waved a hand.

"Oh, Ethan despises me. But he still talks to me when I approach him."

"You're you. I'm me" no way she could get people to waste time on her less they wanted to.

She paused again.
"Medwyn's nightmares... I was wondering.. if they can't be banished. Could... could they be transferred? Magic can do stuff like that, maybe?" and maybe what the caitiff had in mind to help him was a bit on the drastic side.

She smirked.

"I can guarantee you that Ethan despises you a whole lot less than he despises me. Go talk to him. As for transferring nightmares... I would have to look into it. Why? What were you thinking?"

The blond's smile was a quietly soft one.
"I'd like for him to be able to sleep... and not be haunted by them..." as for who to transfer them to? "I told him I would shoulder his pains if I could..." and there wasn't even a shred of hesitation there as she looked up to meet the redhead's eyes.
"Kind of Full Metal Alchemist" she said with a low chuckle. "The principle of equal trade. Maybe they can't be banished, but... who says he has to be the one to suffer them?"

She nodded.

"And who would you curse with such a thing?"

Because nightmares like that? They were definitely a curse.

It scared her. It terrified her really. But, it was Medwyn.
"Me..."

She shook her head.

"No. I can't. He'd never forgive me and it really wouldn't solve the problem, would it?"

"It would let him sleep... Griselda, have you seen what they do to him? It's not fair... And I can't do anything about it..." she'd meant it when she'd said she'd die for him. For him she'd give up everything and it showed in her eyes.

She looked at the blonde, sympathy in her blue eyes.

"Yes, I've seen. And I agree, it would be wonderful if I could take those away. But to give them to the person that he sleeps next to every night, when he knows that she suffers the same torment and demons that he used to suffer... how is that fair to him, Teddy? How can you say that's what's best for him? I know Medwyn; the guilt would eat him alive."

She closed her eyes to hide the pain, arms wrapping around herself tightly. She still could do nothing. Not even this.
God... she was useless to him.

She said, not without some sympathy...

"Tell me I'm wrong."

"I'm a deep sleeper... I wake before he does..." but she knew he would still know. She knew it wasn't fair. It was just...
"I'm not even keeping my promise of always being there when he falls asleep and when he wakes up..." not even that.

She smiled.

"Not your fault. You will be there, eventually."

It had been months... was she really going to be allowed to be there for him again?

"I hope so..." the blond whispered, her voice barely audible under her breath.

She nodded.

"You will be. Jamie's a forgetful guy sometimes, but he's a good man."

"I never said he wasn't" the blond found herself replying as if afraid she might've gotten the impression she thought him a bad person. She honestly didn't. Not when she felt she must've deserved what had happened to her in the first place.

She smiled.

"I know you didn't. But in case you were worried that Jamie wouldn't let Medwyn come back to you... he will. I know he will."