What's This? (A Wedding)

She listened for a moment. She didn't take her eyes away from the couple cutting cake.

"Ah. Well, I know it means a lot to her that you're here. And yes, she deserves to be happy. But then, Chase, so do you. Not all of life is a punishment."

"In time, I will find fulfillment in my faith and in my work, Oriella, as I did before. But I cannot risk anyone else I care about being hurt ever again, especially not with the enemy I face now. I left her when she needed me most. This torment... I deserve this."

She shook her head.

"We both know that's bull, Chase. Yeah, you left her when she needed you. And yeah, she deserves to be happy and deserves a man who won't leave her when she needs him. But what I want to know is when it is that you learn that you can't do everything alone? Sometime, somewhere, you're going to realize that you don't have to carry the weight of the bloody world."

"I appreciate that you think that, but I'm not going to allow anyone else to get hurt for my cause, Oriella. I can't allow it. I've made my peace with that. The rest of the world should stop worrying about it, and about me. I'll be fine."

She laughed softly.

"Last I checked, no one was offering. But, let me ask you this. Who are you to make that decision for someone else? Do you really think you can put yourself on that kind of level? To act as God, telling people what they can and can't do, what choices they can or can't make? You don't have to ask them to get hurt for your cause, but who the hell are you to deny them the right to do so if they wish to?"

"Maybe it's that I don't want the blood of any more half decent people on my hands, maybe I'm tired of seeing other people die for my fight when it should be me getting hurt or dying. I already have enough to atone for, I don't need to lead more people to death or dismemberment."

She was grinning because she didn't want Griselda to know the conversation she was having. She grinned because the wedding was beautiful. She grinned because everything about this wedding seemed right. Her words to Chase told a different story, though.

"Again, with you. I don't want. I can't stand. I am tired. Others share your belief system, Chase. There's more than just you that want to see you succeed. You have the entirety of Clan Tremere at your back and all you can say is that you're tired of seeing others hurt or that you don't want them to get hurt. I get it; I can't stand to see others suffering, either. But you know what? I also know that free will is a thing and that you have no right to tell others what to do, how to do it and when. What you're going to end up with is someone - you lost Griselda, but my money would have been on her, now I'm not sure who it will be - that is going to decide to help you whether you need it or not and end up in an even worse situation than if you had given them the order to help you. Because at least then, you can control the damage a little better. So you make your choice - you either let someone help you and guide them how they would best be used to keep them in as little danger as possible or you just wait for them to go rogue and guarantee that they'll end up with more pain than you can even stand to stomach. Your choice, since you seem so very fond of controlling how everyone does things. Incidentally, that's exactly why you're in pain now and how you lost her. Why it's a Mage standing up there next to her instead of you."

He spoke in a hushed tone, "Or the other option is I keep my mouth shut about what I'm doing, no one is the wiser, and everyone goes on their merry not knowing about it. Then it's a win for all of us, right. People get their free will, I'm not responsible if they do something foolish... I've tried to be the commander. We've seen how well that worked, which is to say that it didn't. These nights, it's better for everyone if I work alone. You and I both know it. And let's not talk about me and the Tremere. That's still a tenuous relationship, all things considered."

He left the dig about the mage marrying Griselda alone. That was best left alone because he had realized that at some point she's have left him. She had wanted as close to normal as possible and he... He just couldn't seem to leave his cause alone. Eventually there would be a time when he was gone for weeks or months and they would have been here anyway. He'd come to accept that.

She listened, still watching the couple cutting the cake.

"Mmm-hmm," she said with a slight smirk. "You're totally the best at hiding everything you do," she said, knowing that he wasn't. "And you never get anyone hurt or killed because they were trying to help you without the necessary information to do so. That never happens."

Sarcasm, thy name is Orie.

"Kinda my point. Here's the bottom line, I don't want help, Oriella. It's much better for everyone if I tell them that I appreciate the offer but no thank you, I don't need any help. Besides, what happens to me is not the concern of this domain. Remember? I'm a member of the London court, again."

"I swear, I need a bloody sign," she muttered. "That was sarcasm, my friend. I'm betting more people die because you don't tell them things than they do following you into battle. And I wasn't offering to help you."