Aftermath (Teddy) - Sunflower Beach

She staggered again, looking as if she'd just gotten punched in the gut to be quite honest the way one arm wrapped around her mid section.

She wanted to throw up.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I'm sorry..." the words where trembling, whispered. The panic in them as clear as the guilt. "I never meant to... I-I would never...." the trembling was back. "I don't deserve you... I'm sorry... I-I'm so sorry"

She had endangered him... and if she'd been guilt ridden before, she was outright panic struck now as she staggered, moving away from him, towards the window, as if she feared that just being close to him would somehow hurt him. Her words turning to stutters as she cried.

Scared out of her mind.

Guilt ridden.

Broken.

Completely and utterly broken.

Which wasn't the point. He wasn't trying to break her. But if that's what it took to get the point across, then so be it. He loved her -- but there were a few things he did love more than her. His own life, for instance. It was selfish, but hey, it's not like he's all that humane, is it? "Is it sinking in now?" he asked quietly. "Is my point being made?"

The point had been made.

She wanted to run.... but she couldn't. She couldn't, at this point, bring herself to do anything but fall to her knees as she wrapped both arms around her midsection and just cried...

Because whether or not he meant to, he had broken her.

He let her cry. Let her, because she needed to know, to understand, the ramifications of the whole situation.

He didn't touch her.

But she would eventually hear his footsteps behind her, as he moved to sit down on the bed. Unmoving.

But she didn't move. She would simply cry until all that remained was the shaking of her shoulders, and the low choked sounds under her breath.

He didn't think she knew? He was everything to her... Which was why she had broken as badly as she had.

He was patient. Mostly. Which was why he didn't move again, didn't speak again, until she had finished her crying. Sometimes, the best lessons in life to learn are the most painful.

Thing was? She wouldn't move to him.

When the trembling subsided, well, somewhat subsided, when she had enough focus of mind to actually do anything. She would slowly and staggering pull herself to her feet as shivering hands reached for the dog tags around her neck to, for the first time since she'd been allowed to wear them, take them off.

She didn't deserve to touch him. Look at him. Be with him...

She certainly didn't deserve being allowed to carry those tags.

"I love you..."

He didn't move from where he sat on the bed. "I know. I love you, too, Teddy."

The sob came out as a choked sound of pain.

Fingers wrapped around the chain of the dog tags, she stopped and turned her head towards him, though she couldn't bring herself to lift her gaze.
"Am I a monster to you now....? Have I lost your trust.... H-have I... have I lost you...?"

Broken Caitiff was broken. So very broken.

He shook his head. "I'm here, aren't I? I'm actually talking to you instead of packing."

The blond turned, slowly, and with insecure steps closed the distance between the two of them before sinking down onto her knees in front of him. Eye lowered, fingers still resting at the chain of the dog tags.
"D... do you think the Warlocks could do something? Maybe Griselda could... could somehow seal my powers away? I... if... if you want me to, to protect Jamie from me... I... I can bond myself to him...."

But touch him? No... she couldn't even ask forgiveness, so how could she touch him?

"Tell me what to do and I'll do it..."

His brow rose. "Why would I demand such a thing from you? It's not like you're the only Kindred in the world who can play with shadows."

"Because I want you to trust me.... because I can't stand the thought that you could fear me...." she whispered in that same broken voice as before. "I can't stand the thought of you looking at me as if a monster... not trusting me...."

"I didn't mean t..." the tear filled eyes, still filled with those opposing feelings of pain and love, flashed open and found his. And still scared. Still so very scared.

"I don't want to get anyone hurt or killed.... I can only beg that... t..." begging forgiveness... she couldn't, knowing she didn't deserve it. "I will do anything... everything.... to make it up to you" the trembling blond, still on her knees in front of him, whispered. "And my powers I... I... " God her fingers clutched that chain tightly. "I don't want them... I want.... I want you...."

"I would give up anything within my power to have you trust me again... look at me the way you always have... to... to see your smile and feel your touch..."

He sighed. "I don't think anyone would ask you to give up your powers, Teddy. It's more that the secrecy makes it look suspicious. And damaging."

"Do you want me to tell Jamie...? Please... tell me what to do...?" she begged, pleaded really. "I'm begging you Medwyn.... please give me a chance..."

She still hadn't touched him. He still hadn't touched her...

He shook his head. "No. I'll talk to Jamie."

"Alright...." she lowered her gaze again, once more reduced to that motionless, beaten dog on the floor. Now slowly numbing fingers resting around the chain that still hadn't been taken off.

He sighed. "I'm going to talk to Ethan, too. When I get a chance to."

Y-yes..." Teddy pretty much just whimpered with a barely there nod of her head.

Without warning, he leaned over and kissed the top of her head. "Now come here and hug me."

Her eyes flashed open, and for the briefest of moments it looked as if she didn't know whether to break down, flee or rejoice. What she ended up doing though, was to throw herself into his arms. Her own moving around him as trembling fingers found his shoulder and the back of his neck, clinging to him as if for her very life and not for a second thinking about the blood she was going to get on him.

Terrified... terrified he would leave her...

No, all she could do was cling to him as hard as her strength would allow her while she trembled and shook with the last round of desperate emotions that welled up from inside.

He wrapped his arms around her and sighed, nestling his head against her shoulder. "There, now. It's all right. No more tears."

Easier said than done when she was as broken as she was.

But he was holding her... he was holding her and so, even as she sobbed, she clung to him. Her face buried in the corner of his neck, still trembling, still clutching at him with her fingers. Her body cold to the touch... she was never cold, not like this, but she was now because she'd been as scared as she was. Because of the panic that was slowly letting go with those guilt wrecked sobs.

"I love you... I love you, Medwyn..." her muffled, whimpering voice whispered against his skin. Skin that was stained by the drops of blood that softly fell from her eyes. "I love you... I'm so sorry... so sorry... I'm so sorry"