The Right Kind of Place (Cassiel)

There was a right place and a wrong place to have certain discussions. This wasn't exactly the right place. But it was an out-of-the-way place, and it would do for what she had in mind. She called up her friend, asking her to meet her at the shady little strip joint, ordered a drink that was exactly one step up from horse piss, and waited.

Cass arrived, she wasn't one to keep people waiting. So, she walked into the... eh... establishment?... about 20 minutes after the phone call was places. She looked around a little before easily spotting Rai and heading that direction.

She brightened on seeing Cassiel. She even waved a hand to her friend, from the table alllllll the way in the back.

Cass returned the wave and the smile and hurried in Rai's direction. She hugged Rai, "Heya, sugar." And then sat across from her at the table. She didn't comment on the location, though. She'd been to worse places.

"What's up?"

She hugged the Toreador -- her sister now -- and smiled as she sat down.

"Hey, baby. I needed to talk to you without having six people breathing down my neck. How have you been?"

"Ever feel like you bit off more than you can chew?" Of course Rai did. "Well, something like that. Yourself?"

She laughed and lifted her horse piss.

"I'll drink to that. Amen."

Cass reached into her dress and pulled out a small flask and unscrewed the top, tapping Rai's glass before she took a drink. It smelled like beer.

"So... do I need to ask who's breathing down your neck? Or, is it safe to assume I already know?"

She laughed.

"You probably already know. It's why I figured I would come and have a chat with you about it. She's tiny and a little ferocious."

"Look, I gave her a boon. What else does she want me to do? Gravel at her feet? Fine, whatever..."

She wasn't angry, she wasn't uncaring to the situation. Cass just... was resigned.

She blinked.

"Wait, what? I was just going to ask what it was that she had done to ruffle your feathers so bad, or if it was just all because of me... What the hell is this about a boon?"

"I was pissed the fuck off, Rai, I'm sorry. She got here and you were so upset and a ton of other people were so upset. I've watched the demons come in, the Carnival, the dog, I just... There's enough going on in this city to now have to worry about someone who's supposed to be one of us. I... snapped. I summoned her, I bitched at her. And then she called me last week fishing for an apology and I just won't give one. Politically, yeah, I done fucked. Thus, I gave her a boon to cover it."

She shook her head.

"It wasn't just about you. Hell, McKay wanted to throw her out of a god damned window. To me that screams there's a problem. But, it's alright, I'm fairly certain at this point the problem is me."

She reached forward, to take the Toreador's hand.

"Whoa, slow down. McKay wants to throw her out of a window for me. Not for any reason other than me. And I appreciate you looking out for me, I really do. You know why everyone hates her, don't you? Have you heard the tale?"

"I've heard bits here and pieces there. Enough that I can put most of it together," she nodded. "I know what she did to you, to the Nos," she said quietly. "But not the full, cohesive story."

She looked at Rai, her eyes dead.

"She reminds me of Jennica."

She was silent for a few moments, nodding slowly.

"And does the reality of her, being there in front of you, do anything to change the opinion that she reminds you of Jennica?"

Cass shook her head.

"No. And I don't want to be her pet project. I don't want to be near her. I don't want to speak with her. Not her, not Jennica, not Frederico. I just want to work and be left alone now."

She blinked.

"Her... pet project? Okay, I realize that I'm getting two different sides to the story here, but they seem to be really weird sides."

"When I summoned her... and, admittedly called her a bitch about 23 times? Yeah, it pissed her off enough that she told me, 'Congratulations, you're now my pet project'. Well, I don't care how pissed off she is, it's not happening. I'll leave the Roses quicker than snot. I've lived that life. I won't do it again."

She frowned again, just holding on to the Toreador's hands.

"I can keep her busy, you know."

"No, it's fine. Don't do that on my account. She's a Rose. You have enough on your plate and I have my big girl panties on. I'm not gonna ask anyone to do anything. Besides, give it a month. They'll forget I exist. That's how these things work out in the end. She has parties to plan, people to shmooze. If I stay off the radar, everything will be fine."

She shook her head.

"My family too now, remember?"

"I know it is," she nodded to Rai, giving her hand a squeeze. "And I want you to have the chance to thrive inside of it."

She nodded.

"And how do you think I'd be able to do that without you?"

Fuck it. Cass pulled the rest of the mostly full bottle of liquor out of her purse. And she started drinking it.

"I've bowed and scraped and created and tried and kept my head down long enough. Honestly? I've had enough. Do I want to leave the family? No! I've always wanted to make this work. I've always wanted someone to be happy with me or proud enough of me to want to call me a Toreador. Always. I thought it would be different here... I thought, with Mal and Estaban, I had a fighting chance."

She shook her head as she drank. And drank.... and drank.

"It's not their fault that I went off half-cocked. It's not their fault that prominent members of the family made promises he couldn't keep. But I'm not stupid, here. I don't stand a chance. There's no room for improvement for me. I thought I'd be upset by it, but... Rai, I'm not. I don't want to do any shows, I don't want a place that's my own. Maybe... maybe I am just a poser after all. But regardless of what I am, I know I have your back. I have Estaban's back. I'll always have them, I'll always be there, so long as you both want me. But I won't continue to make it worse for anyone else in the family. It's clear, I'm the problem. And I don't want to be the problem anymore."

It wasn't the drinking she objected to. Not even a little bit. She listened to the tirade, though. Listened, her head tilted, so she could lean over, her face just inches from that of the Toreador. And while she didn't whisper, it was almost as if there was a secret between the two women.

"Then hold your fucking head up high and be proud of who you are. If you don't want to leave, don't let a couple of self-righteous bitches like Jennica and Areron make you leave the people you care about. If you simply cannot handle having them around, get rid of them. But don't you dare let them make you question yourself or what you are. For the love of God, Cassiel, you're more of a Rose than those two put together."

Her eyes were burning fiercely with the conviction of her words. She meant it. Every. Last. Word.