I've messed up. - Alterations While U Wait

She slipped in the back door, locking it behind her.  She set her bag down, then just stood there, biting her lip.  Not entirely sure what to do next.

Porter came out of the other room, smiling at first, but then noticing the unusual look on Raz0r's face.

He raised an eyebrow. "What's wrong?"

She looked at him with a half smile, still chewing on her lip.

"I'm a fool and an idiot and a child."

"As are we all. That recognition is wisdom."

He approached and put a hand on her arm, gently.

"Tell me."

She leaned into him.

"Have you read the latest Harpy report?"

Because starting at the beginning is good.

"No, I haven't been to the Regency in several days. I take it there is matter of import within."

"Please see opening statement. Add to it that I got in over my head without realizing it, drunk on power, and Jamie decided I needed a thwack with a clue by four."

"How has he punished you?"

"The open secret that I record everything that happens in the Regency is now not even barely a secret. And it's been announced that since I'm a Nos, nothing is safe there."

"This ought to surprise no one. Yet still they cry scandal. Did His Majesty punish you directly?"

Her eyes closed.

"We talked. And he made it clear what was happening was his doing."

"I don't understand what you mean, love. What was happening? What did he do?"

She sighed.

"I'm not entirely sure how it happened, but I got too full of myself, too powerful, without the responsibility. How the hell I inspire loyalty, I'll never understand."

"This may all be connected to your tendency to want to help everyone in sight, even if that means overextending yourself."

She nodded.

"Probably. But I don't wanna have a cult. Not until I build my Borg."

"You're not a cult leader yet, Raz0r. You have a handful of friends, just like anyone else. I think the issue may be that you're too nice a person to be swimming around in the shark-tank of kindred society." Porter smiled.

She actually snorted at that.

"It's to balance out. I can be just as ruthless as the rest of them. But I'm not a feinting violet like Bella."

"Then perhaps it is time for the balance to shift. Show them."

She nodded.

"I know. But I don't know how to do that without having people come after me. I'm considering just ehading to the Island and not coming back."

"If you retreat, then they have won."

She sighed heavily, then met his gaze.

"Help me?"

"Tell me what you want the end-state to be, and we'll see if there's a way to get there."

She nodded.

"I...I want to put it all back. And yeah, I know that can't happen. I want people to know that if they just fucking talk to me, I'll listen. Instead of assuming I won't, then hitting me with this shit."