Serious Talks (Estaban) - Beach House - Estaban/Griselda

She went to the little house that no one but the Toreador and the ghouls knew about. There, she poured herself a very strong drink, and waited.

He was surprised by the note but showed up anyway smiling as he opened the door. He looked around and easily spotted Ra'idah.

"Hello my love. I am here."

She glanced up, the smile tugging at her lips when she saw him. She smiled because she always seemed happy to see him. But her hands... those stayed wrapped around the glass in her hand as she watched him.

"Want a drink, love? We need to talk and you might need it."

The hands were a hint. He watched every part of her, he always did. He liked to think he knew her. And in many waysm he did.

"Certainly. I never turn down a drink with you in a secluded little spot."

Once again, there was that brief flash of a smile. She handed the glass in her hands over to him -- a strong whiskey -- and poured another one for herself.

"I love you. I want to say that first and foremost. Secondly, I have an odd request, and it's a hard request to make...but...I have to make it."

He nodded as he took the drink in his hands.

"Of course, anything you want my love. And I love you too."

She had her back to him. Because it was a serious request, and she, of all people, knew the ramifications of asking it. She gripped at the countertop, her hands almost breaking the stone in her grip.

"I need... when I was there... in the Carnival. I... I felt something break. I didn't know that you had felt it, too. But... I need to bond myself to you. Fully. If you'll let me."

He blinked and thought about it. He took a sip and then spoke softly.

"Of course my love. I already know you love me. Naturally and by yourself. You... need to not be bonded to another?"

He wasnt as slow a he sometimes pretended to be.

She still wasn't looking at him. But she hung her head.

"Yes."

It was a whisper. An achingly hard one for her to say, too. And part of her hated herself for it, even now.

"I... Please don't fuck me over. Okay? That's all I'm asking. Please don't fuck me over."

She sounded on the verge of tears. True tears, too, as the words caught in her throat.

He lifted her head gently so he coyuld look her in the eyes. Wait, true tears? water? Not blood?

"My love, I never would.. we can bond me to you.. if you wish. I will not force it on you becasue I know how you feel. But I promise not to break you, to hurt you. I love you too much mi amor."

She shook her head. And yes, real tears. Kind-of. They were still blood, but it was obvious that, somehow, she wasn't actually willing the blood to flow. She was, in fact, trying to fight the tears back.

"That's not necessary. Not if you aren't comfortable with it. I'm not going to ask you to do that. Just... I just don't want you to hurt me. Okay? That's all. Please just don't fuck me over. That's all I'm asking."

He moved in close, putting an arm around her and setting down the drink. Then he lifted the hand to stroke her cheek.

"I am fine with doing this for you. I would do anything for you and this is not even something hard. I will not hurt you. I... we need to talk about something but first, I have a question. Since you came back, since the bond broke... do you feel any different about me? Do you find yourself loving me any less?"

She shook her head. Honestly, about this entire situation? She was terrified. Because before, she knew and understood, but mostly on an intellectual level, why her loyalty and trust lay where they had. But it was different now, so much different, and the thought of chaining herself like that again... it was terrifying. But she didn't say that, did not give voice to the thoughts that were running through her head. The difference was, her voice, when she answered, was steady and sure. Because the question he had asked, she knew the answer to, easily. He didn't ask about The Other.

"No. Not at all. Not even a little bit. If... if anything... it's stronger now... now that there's nothing in the way..."

He looked into her eyes, not because he didnt trust her answer, but he loved to be so close to her. to loose himself in her.

"Will this.. lessen your feelings for me? Make you doubt at all?"

Again, she shook her head. And this time, he could see her worry. Could see her fear.

"No. But it will... it'll take my will away. That's the only difference. It'll take my will away and make it yours."

He put his head against her, forehead to forehead.

"And if not.. another will take you will back? Your sire?"

There was worry there. Worry for her, not himself.

"I would do anything for you, and I would never hurt you I love you more than anyone or anything. I will do this... if you are sure."

He moved closer, taking her fully in his arms.

She leaned her forehead against his. She was looking him in the eye, though she hadn't made a move to voluntarily touch him. She didn't quite trust herself to, not yet. Too many things were going on that were just uncertainties, and she couldn't bring herself to. Not quite yet.

"I have to. I don't want anyone or anything to come between us. And he will. I know he will. So I have to."

He noticed. But would not question her yet. Not till she was ready..

"Can I bind myself to you as well? Will that make it easier?"

She sighed. Then she shut her eyes, but she left her forehead pressed against his.

"Easier? Maybe... I probably would feel less worried about it if you did. But I wouldn't ask that of you. It's not fair of me to ask that from you, so I wouldn't."

He smiled and caressed her cheek again.

"You didn't ask. I am asking if you would let me. Drink for drink."

She opened her eyes to look at him.

"If... only if you want to. I... need to go the full three. So that no one else can bond me that far. I don't... you don't have to. I know you probably don't want to. I don't mind, but... only if you want to, okay?"

He smiled, but it was a serious smile. There was no joking here. Serious topic deserved a serious mind.

"Only what I want. And I know what I want. I... realized it just before you left. I want it to be shared.. fully. Do you need a refill? I have a feeling this isn't everything. I won't push, but I can feel there is so much more."

She looked at the glass in her hand, which was still untouched. Which meant that she drained it in one long gulp, tossing her head back and throwing the liquor down her throat. It wouldn't make her drunk, but it helped. Or at least, it tricked her mind into thinking that it helped.

"Yes, please, on the refill."

She paused for a few more moments, before she answered him.

"I... need you to know. What I did. To get them out. I need you to know. Because I know I chose the right thing, but it still hurts."

She closed her eyes and leaned slightly forward, over the table.

"I had to let them take one of the kids from the house. They took Ian. Ian for Bennita, Jazz and Naomi. One for three. So I let them have Ian."

He took her glass and headed for the alcohol. When she told him of the deal he stopped. It was not a small thing. He drained his own drink, right down. Then he filled it again and drank it down again.

"It....was the only ..thing you could do. You had to do it."

He filled both their glasses and returned hers to her.

"Have you told Salif?"

She nodded, taking the glass from him, but she couldn't quite look him in the eye.

"He knows. About all of it. He knows. I told him before bringing you here. He's... upset, but he knows it was for the best. Three for one."

She kept repeating that, as if the justification was something to hold on to.

"Ian was ill. He wouldn't have lived to see ten years old. Now he'll live. And... and..." she trailed off and shook her head. "It was the right decision. The right call."