Going Rogue Part Two: Broken Hearts (Ra'idah) - The Den

It was getting late as Alex made the last few preparations for the journey, filling a simple cinch bag with the necessary supplies. The bag itself was dirty from years of use and had been repaired more than a few times. the packing was his way of keeping busy while he waited for a conversation that he honestly didn't want to have.

She didn't bother to call back. But she did, at the very least, do as he asked. A half an hour after his call, there was the tell-tale sound of the elevator as she made her way up to his penthouse.

She just looked tired. Very, very tired.

Alex finished packing the cinch bag, just as she entered the room, it had everything he'd need, a few extra pairs of clothes, a knife, rope, a zippo lighter, and a few road flares. He yanked the cord and tied it off, turning to face her and she could tell already that this was a conversation that he really didn't want to have.

"Hey. Thanks for coming." His voice was quiet in the darkened penthouse.

She still just looked at him, clearly exhausted.

"No problem. You said it was important."

Alex nodded, "Yeah, I guess I did. Look, this isn't something I ever wanted, but it's something I have to do, for a lot of reasons. We have to stop seeing each other, Rai."

Her brow lifted.

"By 'seeing each other' you mean... ?"

"I mean romantically. I'm leaving the domain tonight and I don't exactly know where I'm going or how long I'm going to be gone. It could be a month, it could be longer. I've already put in my resignation to Jamie, told him I might be leaving the Camarilla all together. I don't know yet."

Alex closed his eyes, shaking his head.

She tilted her head.

"Okay."

That was it. No big argument, no temper tantrum. She may have been too tired. Or maybe it was something else. But that was all. "Okay."

Alex nodded, and picked up the cinch bag, slinging it over his shoulder, "PSL needs her guardians, Rai. Treat 'em well."

And with that, the Gangrel began heading towards the elevator, carrying a kind of quiet sadness with him.

She turned and caught his arm.

"That's it? No so long, no kiss goodbye? Nothing at all?"

Alex raised his head, and looked into her eyes, trying to swallow the lump in his throat, "I love you, Rai, more than I've loved anyone in the last two hundred years. But this is something I have to do. For all of us, and I'm sorry."

She rested her hand on his shoulder.

"I don't recall asking, or trying to talk you out of it. Just if this was it. If that was all."

Her eyes were tired, but they met his unflinchingly.

"I love you too, Alex."

Alex pressed his lips to hers, it was gentle but passionate, he let the cinch bag fall to the floor and his arms wrapped around he waist, holding her more tightly than he ever had in the past.

It was a course of action the Gangrel had to take, leaving to find something... else, and maybe to mend what hurt he'd already caused the people he cared about, it was something she could have read in him easily enough.

It was true; she hadn't asked. And in anyone's memory, that was the first time she had actually told the Gangrel that she loved him.

She closed her eyes, slipping her arms around his shoulders to pull him to her. She hadn't asked. But then, she had also told him that she hadn't intended to change him, period. She had meant that. Which is why she could kiss him now, hold him now ... and then let him go.

Alex held her for a moment, taking in her scent, committing it to memory, that one thing that some night might guide him back to PSL. When he finally let her go, after he'd reclaimed the cinch bag, he looked at her with sad eyes, "He needs you, you know? Scion, I mean. He needs you to keep him honest. It's why I have to leave. Our relationship, yours and mine, it's hurting him, twisting him into something that I can't let him become."

She shook her head.

"He only thinks he needs me, Alex."

She hadn't quite let go yet.

"It's not a competition. I'm not a prize to be claimed. You realize that, right?"

Alex nodded, "Yes, I do. It's why I can let go, why I know that I don't have to try to beat him. If anything, I'm doing this to protect him from what he could become."

She paused, then tilted her head curiously.

"Did it ever, at any point, occur to either of you to ask me what I might want?"

Alex looked at her and there was a kind of sad smile that came to his face, "You've been kinda angry with me lately, Rai. I was trying to give you some space. And as much as I love you, Scion, contrary to current actions, if my friend. I honestly haven't been the greatest pal, or lover, lately to either of you. But to answer your question, yeah, I've wondered plenty of times what it is that you want. I think I've even asked once or twice."

Both brows lifted this time.

"Of course I've been angry with you. You're being a ... boy."

Alex shook his head and almost looked a little bashful, "Yeah... about Miami... I uh... I had my orders too."

Then his face was sincere again, "But Miami aside, Ra'idah, what do you want? I mean seriously?"

She tilted her head, watched him without smiling.

"For you to stay. Just one more hour."

Alex looked at her and tilted his head slightly, "What happens in an hour?"

She tilted her head, met his eyes again. Then she leaned close enough to whisper into his ear, words meant for him alone.

Alex could smell her scent, feel her breath against his ear as she whispered and as the words were processed in the innumerable synapses of his brain he looked at her and there was a slight amount of surprise written in his features. He smiled, though it was still sad, "Yeah. I think I can stay for one more hour."

His eyes closed and his lips found hers once again and just as it had before, the cinch bag fell to the floor with a kind of dull thud as his hands rested lightly on her shapely hips. He knew that when it was time to leave, he'd hate it even more, that it would be harder then than it would be now. And for at least that one moment, Alex didn't care.